Change.

I have a lot of pent up anger in me I need to vent. I am also this close to getting up and joining other people in class. Wasn't the whole idea of me coming to study overseas to get out of my comfort zone anyway? And get away from Singapore and the stupid one-sided, narrow-minded mentality harboured by most Singaporeans, not excluding the ones who're in my class?

Okay, so here goes the long story.

Today, the school released the results for the exam we had back in December. Admist frantic scrambling to log onto the online student portal and check our results, all the Singaporeans in my class are asking me how I did. Obviously in a competitive, predatory way, not so much a concerned way. I wonder how knowing my results is of relevant importance? Even the Dentistry students, who are in a different course, want to know. For fuck's sake, get a grip on yourselves and move on!!!

The results are published online anyway, and you check your results against your own student number (which only you yourself have knowledge of). So if the excuse is that you want to see where you stand amongst your fellow classmates, then do the calculations yourself based on the published online results. I can't comprehend how asking each individual personally is going to help in your deductions.

I thought I had put this all behind me. Thank goodness this is only a minority, the Irish can't be bothered about how well you did, or did not do.

Make another wrong move and I am walking away. I seriously contemplated leaving for good during the 2 week winter trip where at some point, the long arduously torturous time spent with certain somebodies led to heightened dismay and regret at making the wrong choice and also further emphasized the necessity for change.

If you're wondering why I 'hang out' with the 4 other (or sometimes 5) Singaporeans in class, it's because it's convenient. We stay at the same apartment complex so we walk to class together, sit together at lectures and lunch. Other than that, during DR and clinical practice tutorials and clinical skills lab, I 'hang out' with the Irish. And sometimes at lunch too, if no other Singaporean is there.

Since all the Singaporeans hang out together, I feel like this hanging out thing is hindering my involvement with my other classmates. But at the same time, they might see my leaving as a sort of betrayal, and it'll be so awkward since we all stay at the same place.

I'm in such a dilemma, someone please leave me some advice! Much thanks.